iTryitTuesday..on hold

iTryitTuesday is on hold for now.  I just have too much going on right now to keep it up, the way I want to do it.  Besides, there is so much more I'd like to chat about!

Big hugs to my followers~
melissa

This is my story ~ Facing the truth

This is my story on why I face the truth with my kids.. 

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, my oldest (T) was almost 5 and my youngest (C) was 1 1/2.  

The cancer was non-small cell lung cancer that had metastasized to the brain, where it had grown rapidly. At first, the Doctors said that she had maybe 4-6 weeks.  Mom was diagnosed in late August 2001 and she passed away in June 2002.  

Those 10 months that she had with us were precious, and why I made the decision to be honest with my young girls.

I remember telling T that Mama Vickie was very sick, that she had to take medicine to make her feel better but it would push her hair out..  It sounds silly, but to a child of that age, it completely made sense.  She wasn't shocked or upset when Grandma walked out one day with no hair and was excited to try on wigs and hats with her!

I told her that Grandma would be going to heaven because the medicine couldn't take away all of the cancer inside of her. I told her that Grandma wouldn't have to be sick anymore when she went to heaven, but that it wouldn't be for a while. She had a lot of questions, and I answered as best I could.  

I explained that we all would catch up to her in Heaven, but hopefully not for a very long time.  I told her that Mama Vickie's Dad had been there for many years, and she'd be able to see him again when she went to heaven too.  

When Mom took a turn for the worse and we knew it was soon, I went to my sweet T and told her that Grandma was ready because her body couldn't be sick anymore.  We laid in a bed for an hour while she cried and told me that she loved her Grandma and that it wasn't fair.  I agreed that it wasn't fair, I agreed that it was going to be very hard to say goodbye. 

I didn't hide the cancer from my kids.  That was precious time that they would have missed with her.  C was only 2 1/2 when she passed away, but still has memories of sitting at her table eating pretzels with Grandma.  Those memories wouldn't be there if I had hidden it all from them.

They loved rubbing her feet and head with lotion.  Her skin was so dry, and it was something they could do for her.  Love- it was all around my Mother and girls while we cherished those months of borrowed time with her.

When we were told that it was the end of her time, T came in the middle of the night to tell her Mama Vicki goodbye.  What I am telling you is the absolute truth of that night, and it gives me chills to this day.  

She hadn't opened her eyes for 2 days due to being in a med-induced sleep.  When my sweet girl went over to her and said that she loved her and kissed her cheek, Mom's eyes opened wide and tears fell.  Her eyes closed as quickly as they had opened, my sister and I just stared at each other in amazement at what we had witnessed.. 

Later that day, after Mom had passed, the girls went to spend the weekend with my in-laws.  My mother-in-law called my husband and explained something had happened on their drive making her realize that whatever it was that we had done to prepare the girls for this loss, we had done well.  

T had seen this bright star in the sky during their drive and told them that it must be Mama Vickie, because she would be watching over them from heaven.

 

I'm sure some will read this and think: 

Why would you let your kids see all of that?  My answer- Why wouldn't I?  Life is tough-it isn't always pretty.  You can see that on the TV or in the papers every day, why would I hide her Grandmother, who she loves? 

Why would you tell a 4/5-year old that her grandmother is going to die?  That isn't what I told her, how I explained it was that she would be going to heaven. Also- that we'd eventually go to heaven, so we would meet up with her there someday, hopefully a long time away.

Every family has their own way of doing things, and this is what worked for us.  I share to see if it can give someone ideas on handling an issue in their own lives.  

I don't have a PhD- I am just a Mom, a Wife and Daughter that went through this life-altering experience.  My mother had 6 children and 16 grandchildren when she died.  Her life, cancer, and death, affected every one of us differently. 

This is my story.  Thank you for reading it...

Please let me know if this meant something to you, or struck a chord.. 

Big hugs to my followers!~
melissa

Friday Favorites!

If anyone asked me what keeps me and the hubby from going crazy with the girls' schedules- I'd have one word for them.. Cozi!!

Not exaggerating people- it has literally changed my life!! All 4 of us can access the same calendar from our own phone to add or change any appointments!

You assign everyone their own color for the calendar and when it's an appointment for only them, their color for is showing. When it's an appointment for everyone, the color picked for the family will show.

Also- the free app offers a one-time reminder for all events. You can set up the reminder to go off a week or even 15 minutes before.

Grocery and to-do lists are offered too! Anyone with access to your calendar (protected with a shared family password) can add something to the lists. 

You can get the full version- but I think the price is a bit steep. I'll stick with the free version because it works for us.

I love the Cozi Family Organizer App!

Big hugs to my followers~
melissa

I'm Trying It-Kitchen Command Center!!

My first iTryitTuesday!!  Woot woot!!

It's January, that wonderful month that we all feel the pressure of purging our old files and find better ways to organize.  I have decided its about time to hop on the organization bandwagon, so first checked out Pinterest for ideas.
 
Here is the link to where I found most of the ideas for today's iTryitTuesday! She is one FABULOUSLY  INVENTIVE LADY!! http://lovelycraftyhome.com/2011/01/19/new-year-new-organization/

 

Printable calendars?  W-w-what??? AWESOME!! I love the ones that I did- and I used a thicker card stock to print them so they should hold up well.  Do you always check out your birthday month first when you get a calendar?  I do- and here it is!!

This SMART BLOGGER posted several different calendars to choose from, and, here's the link! http://benignobjects.blogspot.com/2013/01/2013-free-printable-calendar-roundup.html

I have to give a SHOUT OUT to the AWESOME CREATIVE CRAFTY WOMAN that created the calendar that I LOVE!!
http://www.ellinee.com/blog/our-12-month-printable-calendar-for-2013/

I tagged a hanging folder for each family member, then have 3  folders that don't hang to put in the front of the file box.  They are labeled for: Unsorted Mail, Please Look at Me and Please Shred Me.  Obvious?  Well, yes.. That's the point..

I found a clear bend-a-flex that I will keep in the back of the file box.  The plan is to use this for our budgeting. 

Here it is- my new Kitchen Command Center!! I am SO excited about putting it together, and now using this tool for my family!  We have got to keep those piles from coming back to our counters!!  

 

Big hugs to my followers~
melissa

The Party of 3 Generations

Today I had a moment.  It came at me out of nowhere, totally unexpected and caught me completely by surprise.  

The day didn't start out as a typical Monday with the hurried rush of making sure the girls are getting ready like they should while I am running out of the door, heading to work. I was off of work today, so I had a Dr.'s appointment, and then went shopping.

I went to a local craft store that I love.  It was nice to look around the store without knowing the hubby and kids are looking at the clock and whispering, "How much longer can she really spend in here?".. They don't really say much when we are there, but (God bless them for trying to make me happy) I know when they don't want to be somewhere.  

I'm standing in this aisle looking at clearance Christmas decorations, and there's this woman in the same aisle.. We start that idle chit-chat, you know, the chit-chat that sounds like, "The birdhouses are so adorable, but not worth the $50 marked on them.." chit-chat.  It was so odd, I felt like I knew this woman.. Then I made a comment on how nice it was to just take my time and look at everything without hubby and my teen daughters.

This stranger seems so familiar, she says that her daughter loves going there with her, but is only four.  She then says that the four-year-old is in the back of the store with her mother, the child's grandmother. 

After a minute or so, I looked to my left and saw another woman that was older, with a little girl of about 4, all dressed in pink.

And that is the moment.. I don't know this blessed woman, this woman who is so fortunate to have her mother and her little girl that still believes in magic and is at that age where everything is wonderful and new.  I would probably never recognize her if I saw her on the street or in the mall, but I will never forget that feeling..  What I felt when I saw this woman join her mother, her little girl and become a Party of 3 Generations.. 

My mother, Vickie, was taken by lung cancer on June 20, 2002.  She hadn't had her 62nd birthday yet, I hadn't had my 24th- both of our birthdays were in July.  The girls were only 5 and 2.  

She enjoyed making things and would have so loved to have been in a craft store with me on a random Monday picking out crafts with the girls.  

I saw a reflection today of what could have been if my mother had been healthier and lived longer.  It wasn't meant to be, and I have made peace with that.  

I don't have the right to want this, but I do..  I want those adult daughters that get asked to shop with their mothers- I want them to do it..  I wish they would, because none of us know how many more shopping excursions, lunch dates, phone calls, or hugs we have left from the woman who gave us life.  

The woman that I saw today was thoroughly enjoying her "Party of 3 Generations".  If I saw her again, I would say to her- Thank you.  Thank you for appreciating the time you have with the precious people in your life because there are many of us out there that aren't as fortunate to still have them..  

Hugs to my followers~
melissa